Climategate and the Conspiracy to Force Everyone to Buy Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs
65
Actually that title is misleading. I am going to talk mostly about Climategate. I will not be talking about the global conspiracy to force everyone to buy Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs. The reason is, because I would disappear. Because I know the truth. It's not pretty, as it involves Obama and the Muslims and the climatologists and the Nazis. And these are very dangerous people we're talking about. So take my advice, just go on out to Walmart or wherever and buy some damn CFLs.
What I want to write about, instead of that conspiracy, is the recent almost exposure of that conspiracy.
Luckily, thanks to our friends in the Main Stream Media (commonly abbreviated MSM by those of us in the know) our cover hasn't been blown. If it wasn't for that dastardly, non-mainstream media cable network FOX News and all those rogue journalists who work there totally independent of any corporate influence, I doubt Americans would know anything at all about Climategate and this conspiracy to force everyone to buy CFLs.
But because of that rebel scum at Fox news who keep reporting nonstop on Climategate, my puppetmasters have requested that I pass on some information that shows that there really is no conspiracy to force everyone to buy compact fluorescent lightbulbs.
Here are a few of the best links and articles on the web about Climategate.
An excellent editorial from the scientific journal Nature.
From the Huffington Post: ClimateGate: The 6 Most Dubious Claims About The Supposed "Global Warming Hoax"
Real Climate's excellent as usual examination of the facts.
And a compelling, thought provoking expose of another, lesser known scandal that almost exposed the illuminati's quest to convince everyone that calculus actually works.
Finally a video:
I'd like to close by reminding you all to buy some compact flourescent lightbulbs. Things will be a lot easier for everyone if you do.
CommentsLoading...
Lol. Well you see it's all a conspiracy.
Actually vraj I don't really disagree with you. This hub is more of an absurdist take on the climategate thing than an actual attempt to get everyone to buy CFLs.
I haven't done the research I'd need to do to determine if CFLs, on balance, are really that much worse or better than the energy use and manufacture of regular incandescents.
But the fact is, CFLs are not any different than the larger fluorescent lights that are used in offices and shops across the country. Those have been around for decades and no one ever complained about the mercury or what the manufacturing process did to the workers.
I'm not trying to justify buying things made in China by workers who don't have any kind of health and safety protections. But face it - we all do it. Your cellphone is poison and was probably assembled in a thirdworld country somewhere. Same with your computer.
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and commenting.
You left out the Reptilians. Surely they have something to do with all this? (I'm sorry for calling you Shirley.)
On a more serious note, I was thinking of doing a hub on energy conservation at home--but first I have to put up our artificial pre-lit tree and burn a bunch of carbon for 19 days. :)
I was specifically instructed to leave them out Pam. Shh please.
;). I go half and half on the CFLs and incandescents, in my house. Figure no matter where the Illuminati are, I'll irritate them somehow ... except that I'm also requiring two concurrent technologies to exist, creating the concommitant pollution streams of old factories (bad) and new building (bad) ... so, perhaps an environmentalist fail, there.
At least my economic status prevents me having to make a choice about whether to buy a new environmentally "correct" car ... ;).
your "Ads by Google" list:
New World Order Conspiracy (there's an *ad* for this??? I'm almost tempted to click in to find out what it is ... but not tempted enough ;) )
Global Warming Sea Level
Street Lighting
Conspiracy Theorists (ooo, if that's a paying job I should ... oh, wait, I shouldn't have said that)
;).
KR - Re: the New World Order Conspiracy ad - hey, that's how I got involved. Sometimes you just have to try new things and click on those crazy ads, ya know?
Heh. Reminds me of this:
That video is a classic! Seriously though, do you ever get the feeling that we're all just pawns in a giant game of chess? Somebody out there is jerking the strings big time, but what is the outcome they're hoping for? It's all a mystery to me!
Amanda - I think it's probably a mystery to those who seek to control as well. The only thing that world leaders have proven to me is their incompetence. Each little power faction has some strings that they can pull, but they are all working at cross purposes to each other - and each new method of control creates new wrinkles.
Interesting read. But those new bulbs are not as good as the old ones, and like, are we gonna have "Bulb" Inspectors knocking on our door now asking to check all the lightbulbs, in addition to our TV lisence? *scratches head in confusion*
Thanks for reading and commenting. You have a tv license?
Great article, Will. So glad to know I'm not in the "Conspiracy minority" any more.
I found this post very enlightening. Shirley?? LOL
Carolina muscle - glad I could help you see the light.
Pay2Cem - in today's world no one should have to go without a conspiracy of their own.
Let me make sure I understand. Your article is making fun of climategate?
I must say I thought the part about Calculus being a hoax very funny. I was once a mathematics major.
Carterchas - Heh. I'm making fun of a lot of things.
So many people seem to think that global warming is some vast conspiracy. This is mostly me making fun of that mindset. :)
I was just making certain. I suggst reading, "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift. I think you would appreciate it.
What blew my mind was how climategate was using 13 year old emails. I make certain to clear my old stuff out.
What Fox news (and other nuts) don't seem to understand is that fishy data published in academic journals is very quickly is caught, cleaned and cooked.
15-20 years ago, a group of scientists were claiming "cold fusion" was possible. Less than two weeks later, they were disproven. It seems that when that can't win a fair fight, they (Fox News and others) simply revert to creating fiction.
I just posted a link from my facebook account to this article. I hope they read about Calculus being a fraud.
Thank you for doing that Carterchas!
Yes, in UK we have to pay a TV lisence to look at TV. I notice in USA you don't! That's much better than what we got! How did America evolve without the darn TV lisence! LOL!
LOL. I guess that's the "socialism" the right wing keeps trying to scare us with over here.
I don't think lightbulb police would fly in the US.
Great Hub William
Yes!! I will buy compact flourescent lightbulbs, I'll buy them for myself, I'll even buy them as Xmas presents for all my friends and family :-)
You are a smart man, Shinkicker!
;)
Dude, you *clicked* on the New World Order Conspiracy ad????!?
I might have to stop talking to you.
You never knew me (*FLASH*).
(oh, and I finally got a chance to read Newtongate ... pretty great stuff, there. I knew eventually I'd be justified for dropping out of Calculus 4! And of course you probably remember that I have my own (actual) beefs with the Renaissance, so it even played well there ;). Plus, any document that retains the old Germanic "y" for "th" is a friend of mine, even if I can't remember any longer what the name of that letter-that-looks-like-y is.)
KR: Heh. Well, you know, I saw an ad, it said "Join the New World Order Conspiracy", I clicked on it, the webpage said that I could get paid to promote the global warming hoax, so I signed up. These dudes in black showed up on my doorstep like immediately, whoa. I'll tell you about the time I spent at Bohemian Grove later (NSFW).
Did you read this?
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2002/01/02cobra.html
;-)
:). Yep ... I was kinda too disturbed to think it was funny, though, but I think I know too many people who started carrying guns way too young with not enough personal development first ... eek. None of them were clueless ... but given the prevalence of firearms and the prevalence of kids who had never learned to think well, this scenario seemed all too reasonable. (I'm a real downer at most "comedies" as well, because I can't see most "funny" movies as anything but tragic reflections of the damages in society ... barrel of laughs, that's me. I finally stopped going to most movies and everyone's happier now ;). )
You can promote your little conspiracy but THEY know all about you - from the spy cameras hidden in your CFLs - great satire!
Damn! Shh about the cameras man! No one's supposed to know about those.
Dude wtf is this? Are you forreal about this crap
vrajavala Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago
yeah, but have you read the instructions on how you have to dispose of those damn bulbs!!!??? And, God forbid you break one!! Mercury all over the f**king place and special directions that have to followed in cleaning up the mess???!!!
"In the past decade, hundreds of Chinese factory workers who manufacture CFLs for export to first world countries were being poisoned and hospitalized because of mercury exposure. Examples include workers at the Nanhai Feiyang lighting factory in Foshan city where 68 out of 72 were so badly poisoned that they required hospitalization. At another CFL factory in Jinzhou, 121 out of 123 employees were found to have excessive mercury levels with one employee's mercury level 150 times the accepted standard."
Where the heck are those damn new bulbs made anyway? Would it boost American economy? American Jobs?
Oh yeah, I forgot, they're made in China.